Our Ninja Turtle is gone

Last night I got this text from J…

Oh Gamera, you led a long and storied life.  You came into our family in February 2013 when the boys went to the reptile store to get pinkies for Anthony’s snake and the guy “just gave him to you”.

“My children brought home another turtle. MUCH larger than the Chinatown turtles. Not sure what their father was thinking. Oh, that’s right, he had no idea what was in the box.” 2/19/13 6:52pm

Then there were the frantic weeks/months of our own personal ninja turtle and your mad escape skills.

Before leaving for a camping trip, Eric SWORE the turtle could not get out of the kiddie pool (because EVERYONE has a kiddie pool living IN their house)…

Not only can the giant ass turtle climb, it also moves way faster than I thought they could and it HISSES! Relocated to boys’ tub until they return from camping and escape-proof its pool! If it can get out of the tub I’m checking myself into a hotel for the weekend. Kind of hard to get the image of a huge turtle wandering across your bedroom floor out of your mind. 2/23/13 10:33am [photo and comments]

 

Mega turtle has gone rogue. He’s using his mad ninja skills to evade capture. File this one under “you’d have to be a male Herchenroeder to think having an escaping turtle living in the house is anything less than insane” as I seem to be the only one concerned by this development.3/12/13 6:10pm

Favorite spots? The top of the couch, under the treadmill, my bedroom floor…

Here turtle turtle turtle… 3/30/13 3:40pm

 

For those keeping track of these things, the turtle has gone AWOL, again. Not sure I blame him. 5/6/13 10:37pm

And a year later, it was STILL happening!

Guess who forgot to put their turtle away before leaving for vacation? Thanks a lot Justin & Aaron Gamera is looking for you guys… IN MY BEDROOM! 6/16/14 3:54pm [photo and comments]

Now Justin… why on Earth would we need to look at the turtle when we got home? What were we going to do? Bring it back to life? I have mean skills but even I can’t do that.  Did he dispose of the turtle? Nooooo. It was still there in his room when we got home after midnight.

“What should I do with her?” Ummm I don’t know… GET HER DEAD CARCASS OUT OF YOUR ROOM?

Not sure if there will be a memorial service, or what one wears to such an event.  I’m just hoping the situation is resolved by the time I get home and nothing new is living in the tank by then.

No more animals. No. Just no. Well maybe.