Being the [Drag] Queen Mother

If we’re FB friends you probably know that Aa has jumped with both heels into the world of drag. It wasn’t much of a stretch for my attention seeking performer to combine his loves of dance, costuming, and makeup and take it to the stage/runway.  Aaron’s been choreographing his own numbers since he was about 5 including costumes and props, this is just another venue for him to explore.

After a few short months, he has a following, a small entourage, and the other night he was assembling back up dancers.  He’s working on becoming InstaFamous.  I have no doubt that will happen.

There is nothing about the drag culture that doesn’t appeal to him – it’s literally as over-the-top as you can get.  And well… that’s just Aaron.

Being a DQM is not always easy – especially when said mother is battling serious anxiety.  1) Aaron is a slob and I find his shit EVERYWHERE.  The bathroom. UGH! 2) I don’t wear makeup or do my hair.  I wear jeans or yoga pants and flip flops or Converse EVERY DAY – glamour is not my thing.  Never has been. 3) Frankly, I worry about him going out.  Every day I read about people being shot or beaten because they are different.  I don’t want my son or his friends to end up another statistic.  4) He steals my stuff.  ALL of my glitter, rhinestones, sequins, and feathers have disappeared from my office.  “Well you weren’t using them.” Yeah, I kind of was.  5) He’s broke and drag is costly.  6) Songs on repeat.  7) There is glitter freaking EVERY WHERE!

But, it’s pretty fabulous, too.

He’s living his authentic self.  He’s found an outlet for his creativity.  He’s pretty damn good at it.  He’s learning to be resourceful – even if that means pilfering my craft supplies.

Last month, I took him to DragCon.  WAY outside my comfort zone because SO MANY PEOPLE.  But we had a blast.  He got to meet his favorite queen, Miz Cracker.  He walked the runway.  He was repeatedly complimented on his homemade eyelashes – crafted from junk mail. #dragonadime

Monday night, I got to see him perform live on stage for the first time complete with deathdrops and two leaps into the splits.  ALL DONE IN HEELS!  The talent in that room was a-maz-ing! It was awesome seeing the crowd cheering and oohing and literally in awe of MY KID.  The judges commented that the boy can DANCE – he’s going places! He’s got work to do, room to grow, a look to develop, and moves to smooth out.

Me, I’m still trying to come to terms with him coming home with a stack of singles (tips).

I can’t help him with makeup or fashion, or let’s be honest, dance but there is something I DO know a bit about – marketing.  The plan is to start building a social following, somewhere he can share his tips & tricks for creating on a budget, promote his appearances, and eventually build a brand.

More than that though, I can just be there.

I scream about the mess, and where did THAT come from when you have NO money, and stop taking my craft supplies, and turn down the music, and FREAKING glitter everywhere, and…

But I also listen to his Drag Race recaps.  I TRY not to go down the dark hole of fear and worry every time he goes to the club.  I am “mom” to the extras that come through the house that don’t have that kind of support system at their own homes.  I go and yell and clap and proudly let people know he’s mine.

Acceptance starts at home.

So what’s on the horizon for the diva dude? College classes in dance, makeup, theatre, fashion design, and costuming.  So far, he’s done most of this with zero training – imagine what he can do with some professional guidance? WOW – just WOW!

And for the Queen Mother? More trips to HM’s that’s for sure.  The vibe was fun and the Happy Hour menu made for a cheap night out with friends, and well… DEEP FRIED TWINKIES!  Yeah, I’ll be back – even if it is a bit late for this old broad.  Next time, with all the amazingly supportive people that can’t wait to cheer Luna on.

Now if we could just get the glitter under control. Seriously, it’s FREAKING EVERY WHERE! #craftherpes

Follow Aaron and/or Luna La Fierce on Instagram

May you be…

A few years ago, I happened upon a daily challenge from Project Happiness.  I saved a screenshot of the calendar to my phone and later to my computer.  I’ve had limited success with daily challenges.  Like diets, and resolutions, and well… pretty much everything, good intentions often fall to the wayside of daily life and a limited attention span and my craptastic memory.  There’s also my resounding procrastination.  I’ll get to that… later. (I may have just misspelled “never”.)

So, why now?  Two years after that initial save?

1. It’s my birthday month – the last of my forties.  Pretty soon my age will start with a 5, a half century spent trying to figure out who I am and what mark I want to leave on the Earth. #loftygoals
2. I’m trying to write more.  A month ago, I challenged myself to write daily.  Like all the others before it, that challenge lasted days (maybe).  That needs to change!  Writing helps me think through my chaos much more completely than talking – not that I don’t do a fair share of that, too.  I’m hoping that by putting this out there, I will be held accountable, by myself and others.

I’m not sure I’ll make it to Day 31 – no guarantees.  If I do, my plan is to scrapbook each prompt.  A few years ago, I actually managed to complete the (highly annoying) Month of Gratitude that made the rounds on Facebook.  That layout is one of my favorites to go back and visit – a snapshot of what was important to me then (and for the most part, still is).

I even bought the album (wait for it) TWO YEARS AGO.  I obviously wasn’t ready to undertake this then, I’m hoping I am now.  If not, the prompts will remain on my phone until I am – someday.

Let’s take that first step together…

Day 1 – May You Be Happy

Happy? What does that even mean? I’m really struggling with this one these days.

Holding hands with Aaron (age 18). Rainy days.  Stupid puns and “dad jokes”. Doodling. (Why don’t I do that more?)

Little things. It’s always the little things with me.

 

Amazingly enough, few of the things on either list have changed 15 years later. And FWIW, I still carry around notebooks of grievances. Some things never change.

Some of the things I used to find joy in are just not sparking me – I haven’t scrapbooked in 6 months. I’m behind for the first time since 2010. Partly it’s the chaos of late. Partly it’s the depression. But, I’ve set aside time over the next three months. I’ve even started sorting photos for a crop this weekend. Progress, however slight, is progress.

So, happiness – that elusive goal. There are glimmers of it here and there. It’s not lost forever and neither am I. It’s in here somewhere.

Mom of the Year Moment – REDEEMED

Saturday, 7am Aaron wake up: Mom, did you order my flowers for tonight?

Oh. Shit. 

Homecoming’s tonight and I need TWO boutonnières. TWO. 

In my defense, I DID message my florist friend earlier in the week. I just kind of dropped the ball and never followed up. 

So what’s a crafty mom to do? Turn to YouTube! I mean, seriously, how hard could it really be? (Overconfidence.  Usually my first mistake.)

She says it’s easy. She wouldn’t lie, would she?

So, Lisa and I jetted off to Michael’s after lunch (can’t craft on an empty stomach) and bought wire and floral tape. Pins were $6! Six freaking dollars for pins? I don’t think so!  Lisa had rainbow organza ribbon and threw together some amazing bows. Stopped at the market and picked up flowers. Two hours until the dance… let’s throw this shit together. 

Holy crap – she was right! Damn easy! The total cost $16 for TWO plus enough wire and tape to start my own business and a jar of misc leftover flowers on my table. Why didn’t I start making these years ago?

The boys loved them even if I had to use like 6 pins in each to hold them up (probably should have bought the long pins at Michael’s). 

Mom of the Year – redeemed!